everyone whose child is in the same situation …
My wife and I have a 5-years-old daughter named Hoang Ngan,
we just call Lily as her nickname.
Lily is my second child; I still
remember it was a day with heavy rain and strong thunder when she
was born in June the 26th of 1998 at the CanTho General Hospital.
When knowing Lily was a girl, we felt absolutely joyful.
Whimsically, this even did not mean all smiles and sunshine. Lily
was very small and weak. Several days later, we had learned that
Lily was a child with heart problems and mentally retarded syndrome.
It was a great shock to us at the moment. We were not sure what
would happen to her in her whole life, but anyway, our love to her
is always strongest and deepest; we take care of her very carefully
from a very tiny thing, although we have lived in difficult living
condition; who does not in this lifetime, one way or another. I
always encourage my wife and myself that we have to try our best to
accept the situation. We started to read many medical books about
mental retards and hearth diseases, asked counselors and friends for
more information concerning our daughter's problems.
Her heart and other symptoms had
to be checked up every month. There were two holes in her heart wall
leading oxygen into blood was lack for the development of her brain
and other body parts. As the result, her lungs were affected
seriously that she could catch any other weather-involved diseases
easily. On April 2003, Lily had admitted to Ho Chi Minh City Heart
Institute to have her heart surgery. She was facing a major surgery
that ten years earlier this surgery had been considered impossible
in Vietnam's condition. All of our family members had palpitated for
this challenge. My brothers and sisters in my family (Chi Lan, Quan,
and Chi Minh) had been ready to give their blood to Lily. My older
son, Tu would like to drop out his classes to be able to take care
of his little sister, but I disagreed. My mother wept miserable when
seeing her paternal grandchild in such a state. Luckily, the heart
surgery was completed successfully and then Lily left the hospital
after a month staying there.
I say Thank God all the time. I
say thank you very much so many times to all the doctors and nurses
who were in charge in my daughter's heart surgery, and thanks to all
of my family members’ and friends’ support. Thanks so very much! I
greatly appreciate it.
Lily's health situation is getting
better and better up to now, after the heart operation, although she
still goes see doctor periodic. Lily started school in the school
year 2003-2004, at a special educational base for mentally retarded
children. The school named “Future School” (Truong Tuong lai) for
the future of many children with special need; this school is
located in CanTho city. Every time seeing my daughter in the school
uniform, I feel so ... indescribable but basically all the mix
emotions mentioned on. Each of her physical or mental improvement,
although slowly, is really each of our happiness. We recognized that
our daughter loves us very much; we can feel her love every moment
being with her. In fact, she is very happy when we play and talk
with her, she always asks her mom to know where her father is, and
when her father will be home, when I am not home. She always needs
us indeed, and would never forget asking about her parents.
I know and understand that all
parents would be in very deep sorrow if their children have had this
kind of illness and/or congenital defect situation. It is normal to
feel emotional and sorrow. We always try the best we could, and
focus on the positive to live each and every day, day-by-day,
month-by-month, and then year-by-year. We should learn how to change
our perspective, and believe that children are our treasures, the
very valuable gifts from God.